There are so many things to say about this, but I'm finding it difficult to make time and form words to describe how I feel about my biological sister and her husband moving to Wisconsin. Her husband grew up in Wisconsin, so that's the connection there.
First of all, it's ALL positive! I'm so excited. Second of all, I really want them to make their way to Madison and be happy! I'm sure they will.
My sister's name is Hyun Jeong. I have three biological sisters, and Hyun Jeong is my second oldest sister. In the picture, she's the one in the red shirt.
We all met in 1998, when I went on a birthland tour. I kind of stumbled on my biological family, and I can talk about that later. But basically, long story short - my biological mother felt that having a third girl might be detrimental to her marriage, thanks to a stern warning from one of her inlaws. So, when she gave birth to me, she relinquished me in secret. She told my birth father that I had died. They got pregnant right away and had a fourth girl. My birth mother kept my birth a secret for 18 years ... until I went back to Korea and asked to look at my file.
I always feel the need to say that I was very content with being adopted and growing up a Midwesterner. I wasn't "missing" something or anything like that. And, I want to reiterate that because there are a lot of people who 1) assume that adoptees aren't whole until they find their 'real' (ugh) family and 2) Adoptive parents should know that their children are not necessarily searching... waiting to find someone 'better'.
BUT now that that's all out of the way... I'm really happy to see my birth sister. The fact that she's moving to Wisconsin makes me think that it was Divine Intervention for me to be in Madison. I am so excited and a little nervous. I've always wondered what it would feel like to have a sister - and I wonder... can we be real sisters? Can I do her hair? Can she do my makeup? Can we be the kind of old ladies who take vacations together? Can I confide in her about marriage and life?
I am pretty sure the answer is YES!
But, not to put pressure on her, but she's really my best connection to the rest of my birth family. I have always had a little fear that we'd all kind of fade away and I'd never know what happened to them. I also wondered if my (future) children would understand why they're Korean-looking and why I'm the way I am. My sister already said she'd be a good babysitter!!
On a complete side note, she owned and operated her own language institute in Korea, so I'm hoping she can get some work teaching Mandarin or Korean in Madison (wink, wink...) so if you know a guy-who-knows-a-guy, let me know.
Anyway, I'm hoping we can share some of our adventures in the future. I have been fascinated to hear how adoption has impacted her life, plus I'm really excited to show her around this beautiful city. We also really love her husband, but I try to respect his privacy... same goes with my husband. But I just didn't want to leave him out. We're so excited to have him home! I can't wait to see what life has in store for us. Life is good. And full of wonderful surprises.
5/7/2014 01:31:05 pm
Well, I guess the thoughts of your coming back anywhere near home are now squelched for sure. However, I agree that our God knew what he was doing when he took you away from us, your "family" here, and is connecting you with your birth family in such a big way. I can only wish you and your sister and your husbands happiness in your new connection and please keep us updated about how things are going. Love you and miss you, little girl. Take care.
Leave a Reply.